Refresh: Airplane Mode
The Persian poet, Rumi, once wrote, “I’ve lived too long where I can be reached.” He wrote that in the 13th century. I can't imagine what he would think about our ability to be "reached" today with the plethora of instant communication tools available to us all. Those tools have benefits and advantages, to be sure. There is also a shadow side to them.
Between email, phone, texting, and the handful of other messaging apps I belong to, I feel Rumi's line deeply. It feels impossible today to be unreachable. That feeling comes with a cost—the weight of others’ expectations, an inability to be fully present, and the weariness that comes from truly never feeling "off" or at rest.
Last week I flew out to Nova Scotia for a few days with Kristen's entire family. The flight there is a short two-hour trip. Of course, in exchange for the luxury and privilege of flying, travellers are required to have their phones in "airplane" mode. For two hours, everyone aboard the flight was unreachable. Nothing to do but read, maybe try to nap, be alone with our thoughts. Marry that experience with the cramped quarters of flying a budget airline and you have a recipe for discomfort.
Once we had landed, the familiar "ding" of the seatbelt sign being turned off unleashed a startling Pavlovian response from we passengers. Everyone reached for their phones. What had we missed in that two-hour window of unreachability? Was anyone trying to reach us in the last two hours? Were there emails, texts, or messages that required our attention? Everyone, it seems, was anxious to know.
It is uncomfortable being unreachable. Perhaps we are addicted to being within reach? Regardless, I would suggest being unreachable is essential and healthy, even a spiritual discipline. And it is certainly necessary to find refreshment.
Our first Nexus Summer theme is "Refresh." The idea of the theme is to take the time this week to reflect on how we might use this summer season to find refreshment. How can we be intentional about using the summer to recharge? What activities or people would help to that end?
Travelling and experiencing other parts of the world or our country can help. Time with good friends can help. Being in the wilderness or finding other enjoyable experiences can help. All of those are good things. But we could pursue all those things and still be on and within reach. You can be with your best friends and still find yourself distracted by an incoming text message. You can be on some glorious beach or hiking in the mountains and still feel the temptation to "check" your phone. Pursuing the things that refresh us only works if we are also committed to being present to them. It only works if we are not feeling the weight of obligation or expectations. It means times of being off, unreachable, in “airplane” mode.
Ronald Rolheiser says that "life is meant to be busy, but we’re also meant, at regular times, to have sabbatical, sabbath time, to rest and enjoy." Ah Sabbath—a time to rest and enjoy! What I have come to learn, imperfectly, is that rest and enjoyment can't do their proper work in us if our heads and minds are divided and available to be somewhere else.
I was lamenting to a friend recently that, unlike email, our messaging apps don't come with an auto-responder feature (and if they do, please let me know). With email, we can turn on an auto-response to messages. "Sorry, I am not checking emails for the next week"—that sort of thing. I was lamenting that it would be so much easier if all the other ways we communicate with other people had that same feature.
Slightly amused, my friend replied that I could always turn my phone off.
The thought of that sent a wave of anxiety running through me. How would I communicate with the outside world, check the news, and see if I am needed for something? What if there was an emergency? And how would I take pictures? "Well," my friend replied, "if turning off your phone is a little too cold turkey for your addiction, you could start by just putting it in “airplane” mode." Airplane mode! A perfect solution. I can still take pictures and be unreachable at the same time.
I will confess to being addicted to my phone. In many ways, I think our phones mirror us. If it is on, I am on. If my phone continues to allow me to communicate with others not next to me, or as long as it allows me to distract myself, I am not truly resting or enjoying the moments in front of me.
What it takes to refresh looks different for all of us. I have hopes and plans for this summer, people and places and activities that I hope help recharge the batteries. But I am committing this summer to not walk into those periods of time while still being reachable. I am not strong enough, yet, to turn my phone off for, say, an entire week. But this summer, I do plan to have it on “airplane” mode a whole lot more, because, as Rumi would say, I have lived too long where I can be reached. Perhaps something to consider yourself? Below are some reflection questions to help us think about setting our intentions for the summer.
Setting Our Intentions for the Summer
1. What are my hopes and fears for the summer? Can I let my imagination build something beautiful?
2. What are some settings & activities that will refresh & recharge me?
3. Who are some people that can help refresh me this summer?